I don’t always bludge in English

Posted 6 months ago → Categories: chrasy stuff

I suppose this is a some kind of answer to “What the hell is this blog trying to achieve anyway?” I’ve been asking myself a lot and I know my answer isn’t going to make much sense, but I never make much sense anyway.

I’m pretty sure my blog has become so incoherent that people don’t even know what to say to me anymore but I’m not fussed about it. I don’t consider it selfish for me to write exactly what I feel, when I feel it. Yes, I want you to read but no, I don’t want you to force yourself to read if it gives you the shits. Yes, I like responses, but no, I don’t want you to reply if you don’t think you have anything to add. I like it when you talk about yourselves in comments and the way you might feel about what I’ve said, and knowing if you’ve ever felt the same kind of way. No, I don’t want everyone to agree with me all the time because that’s boring. Most of all, I want to feel like what I’m doing is not a waste of time and I can’t feel that way when I’m writing something that I myself can’t to go back and re-read without cringing in embarrassment or disappointment over what I’ve said. (Insane, non-sensical, run-on sentences FTW!) Honestly, when I read back on my previous posts, I feel nothing but that, save for a few specific posts.

I’m happier crapping on about… crap that has some sort of meaning to me, than I am telling you that I woke up at 6:40 and fell asleep again in my study period and then walked down the street in the afternoon and got an iced mocha and… Well that is also a bunch of crap, but it’s crappier that nobody cares about, not even me. My English Advanced and English Extension teachers are always telling me: “I don’t want to you to recount the text, I want to you to analyse it and tell me how it reflects the context it was composed in and what the intentions of the composer were, then link it back to the original question.”

Oh, I did learn something in English after all these years.

Anyway, maybe that’s the kind of approach I should take with this.

  1. # Jessica, 6 months ago.

    I think I can identify with that feeling… kind of. I used to write about school all the time, even when no one cared, because I cared. When I tried writing about other things, sometimes it worked, but at other times it fell very flat. Even now, I’ve stopped writing about school but I still worry that my entries fall flat. If I change my opinions in a couple of years, what then? I guess this isn’t EXACTLY the same problem, but it’s still “crapping on about crap” v. “entries other people might like”. I think that’s what you were talking about?

  2. # Noellium, 6 months ago.

    I kind of feel the same way. Sometimes I like to blog about things I know no one cares about (i.e. my sleep dreams), just so I could look back at it later (sounds a little cliché, but it’s true :3).

  3. # April, 6 months ago.

    I waffle heaps - its just something that I do. Unfortunately, I waffle about the stuff nobody cares about hahaha. =p Once in a blue moon I might blog something mildly interesting and thought provoking but usually its just teenybopper ramblings coming from a 60 year old (took a quiz online hehe) brain. =p
    I enjoy reading your blog that craps on about crap :D

  4. # Boris, 6 months ago.

    Well anyway, ur fat.

  5. # Tracey, 6 months ago.

    YeAh? WeLl u’re a n00b.

    Hah, pwned :P

  6. # Tracey, 6 months ago.

    If I change my opinions in a couple of years, what then?

    If I change my opinions, it won’t matter to me because I’ll say to myself, “It’s ok because that’s what I thought at the time. Things change, and you don’t think like that now, so it’s all right.” I don’t see that as a huge problem, because I understand that my own values and opinions are definitely going to change over time.

    I guess this isn’t EXACTLY the same problem, but it’s still “crapping on about crap” v. “entries other people might like”. I think that’s what you were talking about?

    What I was saying is that I’ve given up trying to write crowd pleasers all the time, and to just write whatever comes out (and also, that it’s ok if no one comments, because I’m not a comment whore anymore :P) I never wrote particularly popular or interesting posts in the first place, but I always felt like I was trying to, and fell short all the time.

  7. # Tracey, 6 months ago.

    That’s what I want to do! (To be honest, sometime I skip over your dreams because they absolutely confuse me and I feel like I’m intruding on your sleep or something :P)

  8. # Tracey, 6 months ago.

    I’m a waffler too, only, I hide it! It takes effort to restrain myself from spewing out a lot of even-more-meaningless-than-usual crap!

    And thanks for reading April :)

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