Siblings
My aunt called today to wish my family a happy new year, which I thought was rather sweet of her, considering international calls from Hong Kong must cost a fortune. After I talked to her a bit about generic stuff like “Oh, it’s a Saturday night, I don’t have to go to school tomorrow” and “Have you had dinner yet?” my mother told me to give the phone to my father. My aunt is my dad’s sister, so duh, that made sense to me.
But you know, I guess she never really got a chance to spend lots of money on a phone call, because it was over in about two minutes. There were the obligatory greetings and then a conversation about the weather. And then, I guess they both had nothing left to say. My dad ended the conversation with something like “It’s not necessary to talk, just a [new years] greeting is fine,” and that was it. They both hung up.
It makes me so sad to think that my dad and his sister have nothing to say to each other except “Oh, it’s eight degrees in Hong Kong at the moment”, especially when I think about what was happening before the phone rang. Michael and I were hanging out in my room, listening to music while I read a book and he played on his game boy. Like friends and like the close siblings we are and should be. I can’t imagine not being able to talk about random things with him, I hope we don’t have a conversation in the future where the only thing we have to talk about is the weather.
I could be being so harsh about my dad’s relationship with his family - There are a million different and significant reasons why they’re not close. I know that if anything happened to his family, my dad would have no hesitation in financially supporting them, but emotionally? My dad has no idea. For that, I feel kind of like he’s lacking and sorry that he misses out on the same kinds of things that he encourages between Michael and I.
# Amber, 9 months, 1 week ago.
I detest my siblings but I can’t ever imagine just discussing the weather with them over the phone; oh no, I’ll verbally abuse them instead! Far more fun. :)
# marilyn, 9 months, 1 week ago.
Yeah, it’s kinda the same way with my family; the mentality is that we don’t really show emotions. And I think it’s just my part of the family, like my aunts are always more..huggy and stuff like that. And I don’t know if that’s too bad on my part, like I’m missing out or something, but it’s just how it is and honestly, it’d be awkward if we did start being that way. It probably would be nice, but then I don’t know. I think it’s a good thing that he still encourages it between you and your brother though, even if it wasn’t that way with his family. But really, if my parents and brother start hugging me or something - that’s just weird :P
# Kaylee, 9 months, 1 week ago.
My mom talks about “deeper” stuff with her siblings (who are all overseas) but my dad has those “boring” conversations with his family. I think it might be hard for him to bridge the great distance between them. And although I have a good, talkative relationship with my siblings right now, I don’t know what will happen to that in the future.
# Kycoo, 9 months, 1 week ago.
My dad doesn’t talk much with his brother, at least not when I’m present. On the other hand, my mom can’t seem to shut up when she’s talking with her sister. My cousins and I are used to listening to them say good-bye at least five times because they keep thinking of something else to say after they say good-bye once. It’s pretty amusing.
Is your dad generally a talkative person?
# Holly, 9 months, 1 week ago.
My father and his older brother are a bit like that too. They have nothing in common as adults, so they’re not very close at all. He lives in the same city as us and I haven’t seen him for more than a year.
I’m an only child so it’s not like I’ll ever be in that situation, but still, if I did have siblings, I’d want to be close to them.
# Katy, 9 months, 1 week ago.
I’m not super close with my sister either but I can’t imagine having that kind of relationship with her when we get older. Was your father ever close to his siblings? I guess if he never was, then he doesn’t really know what he’s missing which is a good thing in a way.
# Eina, 9 months ago.
I always yell at my brother whenever he calls me, but really, that’s how we show our love for each other. (Srsly, lulz) Maybe your dad’s just a bit uncomfortable in expressing his emotions? It’s a good thing though that you and your brother are close. Hopefully, in the years ahead, you guys will stay the same, eh? :D
# experiment-fatso, 9 months ago.
Hmm, well I’m a complete dork at home. I have this “deep”/for-close-people only side to me - which means only my immediate family has to endure it. :P I talk about everything and anything with my family… except dad. He scares me. Only cause I respect him and he has this commanding “i am your father” aura about him. At school I like to pretend to be this “cool” wannabe but at home I just let loose and turn into someone really stupid. Evidence? I dance around after dinner, I hum/dance when I wash the dishes in the night, on occasion i wander over collapse on my sister’s bed and sleep there, when my brother sleeps I come over to his room and tickle him in his sleep/block his nose/ruffle his hair and I sometimes swagger down stairs and break into song and then disappearing into my room again. This is why i crack up when i hear people say that i’m a quiet/shy sweet girl. XD
(and i don’t think i’ve said this before, but dang i love your website layout/style! *drools*)
# Tracey, 9 months ago.
Or curse them using Harry Potter spells, right? I am so right :P
# Tracey, 9 months ago.
I suppose it would be if you hadn’t grown up with it… But occasional affection, I think the world could do with some more of it.
# Tracey, 9 months ago.
I hope it stays as it is, Kaylee! Being emotional and affectionate is definitely more of a female thing I guess, but it shouldn’t always have to be.
# Tracey, 9 months ago.
Annie, I will never think you’re a sweet, shy, geekily intelligent girl again!
And thank you =D I envy your illustration talent so much, you know that?
# Tracey, 9 months ago.
I hope so too, I really do! There a thousand things I don’t know about my dad and his family, maybe this post represents that ignorance. It always seems a little sad to me though.
# Tracey, 9 months ago.
It depends who he’s talking to, and what they’re talking about. Sometimes my dad is a pretty boisterous person. I soooo know what you mean about saying your mum hanging up after about five “I have to go now! Bye!”s. Mine does it all the time!
# Tracey, 9 months ago.
Wow, I’ve never thought about this from an only child point of view, thank you for showing me a new perspective! I hope that even after my brother and I grow older and our interests change even further (at the moment we have very different interests) we can still find things to talk about.
# Tracey, 9 months ago.
My dad’s the youngest in a big family, most of them had moved out before he ever got to know them well, so you’re definitely right in a way, he’s doesn’t know what he’s missing. I hope you and your sister stay relatively close! (No pun intended!)
# Kaisa, 8 months, 4 weeks ago.
My parents are the same with their siblings. There are the Christmas cards, occasional phone calls and the like, but they rarely talk.
I’m just glad that is not the case with me and my siblings. There a six of us, aged between 16 and 33 and yet, we manage to get along great. We talk about random things, sometimes more serious, usually light hearted and we have fun together. I even live with one of my sisters :) It is great that even now that most of us are adults and live in different cities, we’ve managed to keep our close relationship.
# Kiera, 8 months, 4 weeks ago.
That is sad =(
Like you, I can’t imagine not having the close relationship that I do with my brother and sister. Despite the distance, we all remain very close and support each other.
As for mom and dad’s relationship with their siblings….. Well, my father was the oldest of 12 and they all looked up to him and even nicknamed him “Papa”, so yeah, they were pretty close. My mom has her issues with some of her sibs but they all love each other to death and are too very close.