Reasons why I don’t want to go to the formal
The formal is one of those “people politics” events. A “social must-do” or else you will be forever considered an outsider. For me, in my current situation, I don’t find it necessary to have or attend one. But one is already in the works, despite the planned date for it being in November. When the formal committee came around to my roll call class and asked if anybody wasn’t interested in going to one, I was the only one who put my hand up. See, I’m already and outsider regarding the formal, and it hasn’t even happened yet!
For all you non-Australians, the formal is simply our word for your “prom”. Usually in Australian high schools (or at least in my state, New South Wales), there are two: one at the end of year ten and another at the end of year twelve. The reason we have two, is because there’s the option of leaving school after the completion of the school certificate, which I’m currently studying for at the moment. A formal at the end of year ten is all well and good for other schools, where a significant amount of their year ten students decide to leave, but at my fancy-schmancy selective high school? Not necessary!
Students are highly discouraged from leaving at my particular school, and it’s very very rare that someone does. Therein lies my distaste for the formal. There’s no point! I can guarantee that I will be seeing 99% of my classmates back at school in 2008. The way I see it, formals are an incredible waste of time and money. It would cost a couple of hundred for a dress that I’ll only ever wear once (and probably look horrible in) and sixty dollars for a ticket to wear aforementioned dress at some fancy venue and to eat some food while listening to some sucky music.
“Oh, come on Tracey, you’ll get to talk with everyone there! Don’t be such a spoilsport!” say friends of mine. Really, I’ll only be talking to the people I talk to everyday, and have talked to for the past three years, and will continue to do so for the next three years, formal or no formal. It’s not like people are going to be breaking out of their respective “groups” (and as much as I dislike it, I can’t deny that there are certain “groups” within my year) to talk to others. No, that’s not what will happen. People will remain in their circles, as they always have. Being at a formal will not change the fact that we have socially segregated ourselves and will not magically unite us into a fabulous night of mingling and getting to know people you never knew existed. At my school, in my year - it doesn’t happen that way.
“Well, if you don’t want to come for us, come to laugh at some of the terrible dresses people will be wearing!” If I wanted to laugh at crappy dress sense, I’d go through all the archives at Go Fug Yourself. I don’t want to bitch about other people’s clothes, nor do I want to be bitched about.
The formal is starting to sound like a social nightmare. Who am I going to go with? Whose afterparty am I going to? Whose dress will be the nicest? Who will get terribly smashed and make a fool of themselves (because somebody’s bound to)? I repeat: It’s a nightmare.
Regardless of all my whinging, I know I won’t be able to get out of going to the formal. It sounds weak of me, I know, but I will let myself be persuaded by my friends, there honestly is an enormous social expectation for me to attend. I know my mother wants the opportunity to dress me up and get me off the computer, and she’ll do everything she can to do just that. Maybe it will be fun for me to dress up and act all girly. Perhaps you may all read a hypocritical blog from me in six months, where I tell you how absolutely amazing the formal was, and I how I couldn’t believe I ever contemplated not going.
It might be terrible, it might not be so bad, but I won’t know unless I go, so I guess that’s what I’m doing. How was your formal/prom? Amazing? Awful? What do you think about it? Useless? And most importantly: Any tips on buying dresses that aren’t hideously expensive (or equally as hideously looking?) :P
P.S. America watch out, because I might be coming to your shores in January 2009. I just sounded like a movie trailer.
# Kimmie, 1 year, 6 months ago.
Prom is such a big deal in the USA that no one would think of missing it, even the total outcasts. The first prom dress I got was one of those bright, glittery dresses (that was for my boyfriend’s senior prom). But then, for my senior prom, I went out and bought the most beautiful dress. It was $100. It was all black, except it had light blue trim at every edge. And it had this ruffle type thing in the back.
I suggest you go to a bridal store and try on some bridesmaid dresses. Those are usually fairly simple, but elegant, and if you go to a wedding factory type store (like David’s Bridal), they sell them cheap.
# Jordie, 1 year, 6 months ago.
I don’t suppose anyone wears pants to a formal… I wouldn’t go just because I don’t want to wear a dress. :P
# Amanda, 1 year, 6 months ago.
Just go to Myer and buy a Tokito dress. I
# Amanda, 1 year, 6 months ago.
FUCK FUCK FUCK COMMENT GOT CUT OFF.
Oh well. You know what I said. It should be in your WP panel.
# kat, 1 year, 6 months ago.
You can have mine! It’s been sitting in my wardrobe for years and I don’t think I can ever fit into it again XD
You would go to your Year 12 one though…?
# Desiree, 1 year, 6 months ago.
Ahhh, the formal. Unfortunately, it is true that people will stick with their pre-existing groups and it won’t be a particularly revolutionary night — it can still be enjoyable to spend time with your friends and eat dinner and dress up for the novelty, but that’s about it. I didn’t go to my Year 10 formal because my group arranged some other dinner. I went to the Year 12 one however, and it wasn’t too bad, though not particularly dazzling like teen movies suggest either. There was some dancing which was fun! I thought the girls looked lovely in their dresses, even if they weren’t “designer” or super-stylish or whatever, and it’s just petty if people would rather bitch about flaws than appreciate it. Most people who weren’t already going out didn’t go with a partner, but that might just be my school being really relaxed about that, haha.
There are some elegant, simple dresses at Myer, and other shops in the city I assume. I found my dress at a second-hand store for $12 (best bargain find ever!) so I can’t really be much of a judge on that. XD Can’t see the point of spending $300 on a dress you’ll only wear once when you could be buying books with it instead, there are plenty of nice ones if you don’t mind hunting around.
# Anna-Erica, 1 year, 6 months ago.
I went to prom in the US with a friend (another exchange student), and had a lot of fun. I didn’t really stress about it, just went for fun, and tried to spend as little money as possible (my dress wasn’t super fancy, and it was $15)
So my advice is, just go for fun, don’t stress about it too much and I’m sure you’ll have a decent time! :)
# Meli, 1 year, 6 months ago.
I’ve never been to homecoming OR the prom. I think I turned out okay. I even still had friends when it was all said and done. *shrugs*
# dakota, 1 year, 6 months ago.
ewwww yeah, don’t go to that formal, formals are yucky. ew ew ew (unless u become prom king or queen like i did)
# marilyn, 1 year, 6 months ago.
eh, I dunno about all the social stuff..it sucks, but I was lucky enough to not have really experienced it. my high school, if you went to prom, cool. if you didn’t, fine. no one would care. maybe it was just because the people I hung out with were that way, or I was just oblivious to it all. But it is fun. even though it takes forever to buy a dress and shoes. my advice, be patient, shop around, and have fun doing it. you don’t have to spend a ton to get a nice dress. also, also get a mid-calf length dress so you can just wear the dress again when you have to go to a wedding or something. the year before my prom, my cousin got married so I ended up with dresses anyway. g’luck!
# Jenny, 1 year, 6 months ago.
I went to my junior prom, and even wore a spangly gold dress. My mother insisted; I was all set to wear a tux (but I suspect my date might not have liked that). Would have been more fun, though…
I skipped senior prom entirely: My good friend had been expelled (good story, that) so we decided to go bowling in our formal wear instead (which is actually quite a subculture tradition at my highschool). I had this great slinky black and pin-strip number I got in New York earlier that year — and I still wear it a couple times a year, usually with jeans. Not at all a bad evening. (Although some of my more traditionalist friends were horrified that I ditched it. I contend that all I missed was seeing the full Scottish regalia of another friend — kilt and all. But I did see the pictures.)
I’m not much for bad music and meaningless ritual, so I don’t at all regret not attending! I would definitely go for something classic and not too frilly in a dress — and take the whole thing with a grain of salt. But then there’s the opposing camp: my brother really likes prom (the dressing up, the social experience), and went three times, including this year to his girlfriend’s senior prom, even though he’s now in college and he had a final and moved in to a new apartment on the same day…
# Jen, 1 year, 6 months ago.
My school had a semi-formal too, at the end of Year 11. My friends and I opted out, and spent a night out in the city doing all sorts of things instead. I mean, the ticket itself was $120 on top of the dress/shoes/etc, so we just figured we could spend less than that and have an even more fantastic time. I went to the one in Year 10 though, even though everyone in my grade then is still in my grade now. So really, it’s just a social function, a nuisance to paint yourself and go deaf from the crappy music. But I intend to go to my Year 12 formal. ‘Cause then we really are leaving.
# Boris, 1 year, 6 months ago.
Just go shopping some day, and take a look at a lot of nice dresses. If you see a dress and think “Ooohh I want to be wearing that,” then take that as a coin-flip decision. Don’t worry about whether you’ll actually buy the dress you wish you could wear ($1337 lolzorz), just that you want to wear it. If you look around, and the whole thing just bores you, then consider yourself being bored during the ‘formal’.
I’m sure I’ll be going. If not because I never get out anyway, then for the food. I just think of it as a simple excursion- the usual purpose of it doesn’t apply for our school, so it’s just to “have fun” like everyone says. I didn’t know we had to “go with” anybody at all, but you know I’ll always be lolful to go with you :P Besides, at least there isn’t going to be any barn dancing there :P
Social expectation is a noob. Just go if you feel like it!
# Tracey, 1 year, 6 months ago.
Amanda: Nope, not there…
Kat: I would go to the year 12 one willingly, I don’t think I can apply the argument of seeing everyone the next year to that formal :P
I think it’s interesting that couple of you decided to organise your own dinner. That’s something that I think would be great, and in a much more casual/comfortable kind of setting, but I think my friends are hell bent on going to the formal…
If there is any barn dancing at the formal, Boris, I shotgun you as my partner. OH GOD NOT THE BARN DANCING PLEASE.
# Amber, 1 year, 6 months ago.
As much as you aren’t looking forward to yours, is as much as I’m excited about going to my own! I’m almost willing next year to come quicker so I can go and have myself some fun. I only have the predicament of finding myself a date… and as there are an abundance of girls and barely any boys, my going on my own is a very likely option.
So much social politics!
# Adrian Mole, 1 year, 6 months ago.
Trace alot of dresses are still nice, and not hideously expensive. There is absolutely no need to spend over $200, unless you are a brand whore. But even brand whores aren’t that stupid (well this one isn’t).
Come down to my place one some miraculous weekend where there is magically no sport and we’ll go dress shopping. Euh, doesn’t it sound horrible.
# Tracey, 1 year, 6 months ago.
Amber: Social politics are entirely why I don’t like the idea of the formal!
Mole, there will never be a weekend where there is no sport. Never.
# Jessica, 1 year, 6 months ago.
My school only has a formal in year 12. Lots of year 10s left my school last year, but the vast majority left to go to other schools, since our school doesn’t offer a lot of VCE subjects. A ton of foreign students turn up to our school for year 11, so it seems to balance.
I’m planning to go to my formal, but it’s two or three years away (depending on if my Maths and Science skills improve or not). If I do, I really hope I won’t have to spend a ton of money on a dress… I hate clothes shopping!
# Amanda, 1 year, 6 months ago.
FUCK FUCK FUCK.
Okay, basically, either go to Myer/DJ sales weekends, or I send you a bag of dresses to try on so you don’t have to buy anything. You’d have to return them though, cause I love my dresses. :P
# Boris, 1 year, 6 months ago.
Hee. Amanda’s funny :D
# Kat, 1 year, 6 months ago.
Just go! :) You’ll wish you had just participated in all this trivial stuff when you get into college and start doing all the serious stuff.
# Adrian Mole, 1 year, 6 months ago.
Actually Tracey dear, on the weekend of the 9th and 10th of June, there is no sport ON EITHER DAY. That is so weird. And its only because the following Monday is a public holiday.
# Shari, 1 year, 6 months ago.
You speak the truth, you speak the truth! But it’s just me. I never enjoyed the proms I attended, mainly because I didn’t even want to attend in the first place.
# Shawna, 1 year, 6 months ago.
I like your snazzy no-frills design ;)
My local high school had their prom last Saturday.
I was at a friend’s house watching the 5 hour long version of Pride and Prejudice.
Last year I went to go see a movie. I had a lot more fun doing either of those than going to prom.
# Rafia, 1 year, 6 months ago.
Well, you still have a few months to decide right?
Proms are a big deal in the US. But they were never a big deal to me. I’m not the type of person that likes to get dressed up and dance to cheesy music. Sure, the fact that I didn’t have a date may have been a reason, but I don’t like to see it that way. I don’t think I missed out.
I don’t think you will either, especially since you know you’ll be seeing all your friends again next year. If you think it’s useless, then don’t go. But if you want to just have some fun with your friends and get all dressed up, then it can’t hurt right?
# chelsea, 1 year, 5 months ago.
actually like 20 people left the last lot of year tens and people in the current year 12 are still dropping out, this close to the end of the school, thus the year ten formal is their only one. i think its going to be rly fun and i shall be expecting you to get smashed at the after party w/ me. regards, c. b.
# Tracey, 1 year, 5 months ago.
I am not going to get smashed. I honestly can’t think of any of our year dropping out…
# Ritard, 10 months, 1 week ago.
Wow, im a senior this year and i’ve been dreading the formal for the last 2 years. Why? Because its just a big opportunity to humiliate yourself. I can’t stand how everyone judges their peers based on
a) what they look like
b) who their date is
c) what car they come in
I know that i wont look the too hot (cuz im pretty stumpy), and i definitly will NOT get asked by a guy. As for just having a blast with my friends…..i dont really have any. So basically, its one night of hell.
The worst part is telling your family and friends outside school. Once they know that your boycotting the formal, they assume its because your a total loser - there goes MY reputation forever.