Loss of Faith
This question jumped into my head on ages and ages ago, I think. I don’t know sometime in October (yes, four months ago. Sorry). Anyway: What makes people lose their faith, particularly teenagers like myself?
Before I start saying anything, let me make it clear that it is not my intention to hurt or offend anyone or their religion. I am simply stating a few of my own theories behind the loss of faith in teenagers today. I’m not going to be religion bashing at all in this post, nor am I going to attack people who are very strong believers in their religion.
I can’t say that I’m very religious or that I belong to an organised religion, but I am not entirely faithless. Yes, there was a time where I did belong to a religion, but it’s not the sort of thing I was able to to choose, not that I would have really understood what I was choosing anyway. I truly think that believing in something (a higher deity or not) is still a good thing, and being Godless is not necessarily a bad thing either. I know people who have stuck to their faith for their entire lives, it’s a commendable thing, and I have respect for people who have the strength to believe in something that they may have never truly seen.
I think it’s a common thing, where children are born into highly religious families and it’s hammered into them from an early age and then, they just stop. I’ve seen it happen and it puzzles me to no end. Is it because of other people, that they lose this belief in something higher than us? Is it because they are told to have faith in this unknown, invisible being so much that the begin to question why? Do they question the meaning behind the religion first, or the existence of the deity/ies? Why? Why did I do it?
When you’re five years old and they tell you that God is great, you believe them. When you’re ten years old and you start reading things in the bible that they don’t tell you to read in class, you freak out. When you’re twelve years old you’re and afraid of God, you’re just scared that everything you do wrong is going to result in some very bad, nasty, no good, terrible punishment whenever you get to hell. For me, being so scared of something, even if it was my God, felt unnatural and made me miserable. (I’m not sure that my parents really thought about the whole religion thing when they sent me to school, they just knew I was going to a private school and was going to be priviledged. It’s not something I want to discuss with them either.)
I stopped believing in organised religion because I didn’t like being afraid of someone who was supposed to be forgiving. I stopped because I kept thinking that I was unfaithful to God for burning incense sticks for my deceased grandparents. I stopped thinking the sky would fall on my head. I just stopped.
I did not want to live a life in fear.
# Chans, 1 year, 10 months ago.
I think we also start changing our believes (or stop believing completely) because we start to form our own opinions about religions and the rules that come with it. I do believe in God, I am catholicly raised but I don’t agree with everything that’s said and done in the Catholic religion.
I somehow ‘created’ my own religion, which I think is a mix of a lot of religions in this world. For one I believe their is something greater than us (what we call God), but I don’t believe it’s only up there in the sky, I think God is in every living thing around us; animals, trees etc.
If an existing religion makes you feel good, than that’s fine, if it doesn’t than that should be fine too. And if a mix of all religions makes you feel comfortable that’s fine too. Basically we should respect everyone for their believes, and not try to force our own believes on others or disrespect someone for believing if you’re a non-believer.
So in short; people start changing their believes / religions because they create their own opinion about a religion and decide whether to go with it or not. Or at least that’s what I think could be a reason for your their change.
# Jordie, 1 year, 10 months ago.
I believe a loss of faith in teenagers, for most, comes with the realisation that yes, you actually CAN think for yourself, and you don’t have to eat the food that’s put in front of you (so to speak). It happened to me. Though I am willing to entertain the idea of a higher power or plane of existence (i.e. heaven), I came to this conclusion by myself after much painful thought. I do not belong to an organised religion. I am Agnostic, and happy to be.
Another reason I do belong to Christianity is that I do not believe in the Bible — or, more appropriately, I don’t believe it in its entirety, and I am against the mindless belief in the things the Bible teaches. A religious person once said to me, “If you believe in parts of the Bible, why don’t you believe it all?” I respect a person’s religion, but to me that just sounded so ridiculous. The Bible that tells us Jesus fed a congregation of 5000 from a single basket of bread and fish is the same Bible that tells us homosexuality is an abomination, that slavery and incest is acceptable and that women are evil. It would have you believe that Eve brought on the original sin, that she was tempted by Lilith in her snake form, that Delilah cut Sampson’s hair and that none of the major Biblical prophets were female. That’s just offhand. That besides, the only other women mentioned in the Bible are wives and mothers, nothing more. Even the Virgin Mary, the centre of Christianity and Catholicism, was simply a vessel for the Son of God. As an individual she did nothing particularly amazing.
While I’m not a feminist, I consider that insulting since I am strong, independent and childfree. I won’t be told that my only worth lies in bearing children. That’s just bullshit.
And as for the concept of God, well, if there is a higher power, then I believe it can only make sense if it represents both male and female, and not one or the other. Kind of like yin-yang. Plus, a deity that was truly forgiving and impartial wouldn’t give two shits if you were gay, black, straight, pink, pro-choice, lime green, white, religious, atheist. It would want equality between both genders and all ethnicities, for what is elitism but a concept we invented? It wouldn’t tell us to be fruitful and multiply, that’s just incidental. Our true aim on this Earth would be to learn the stuff within the parameters it’s set for us (i.e. our notions of reality, the third dimension and what have you). Galileo said, “I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.” If this deity wanted a perfect world, all it had to do was remove free will from the human equation. It wouldn’t be much fun, but the ugly truth: the day we learned to think for ourselves was the day Pandora’s box was opened.
However, if you dig too deep into the idea, you’ll wind up with an existential crisis like me. Bottom line? “Fuck politics. We’re here. All the rest is bullshit.”
# Laura, 1 year, 10 months ago.
You should fear nothing more than you fear God. It’s written in the Bible somewhere, but I’m having trouble finding it. Fear is only one part of it. Things such as eternal life, forgiveness, unconditional love…now they’re some good things!
# Lucy, 1 year, 10 months ago.
I think part of the reason that teenagers lose their faith because at a young age, parents and adults keep forcing it on them, so they might not have had real faith to begin with. Just as a side note, throughout this comment, I’ll be talking about Christianity.
Also, I found that when I was little, I didn’t really understand what Christianity really was. The Sunday school teachers meant well, but I think mine could have explained things a little better. I think I’ll try teaching Sunday school sometime.
Plus, there are so many people who preach what Christianity isn’t, that it’s hard to distinguish fact from fiction.
“Even the Virgin Mary, the centre of Christianity and Catholicism…”
The Virgin Mary is not the center of Christianity. She might be for Catholicism, but she is definitely not in Christianity. Jesus is.
“…none of the major Biblical prophets were female.”
Actually, there was one, and her name was Deborah.
I’m sad for people who think they know who God is, but don’t :( A lot of debates about religion is because of someone’s ignorance, because they just don’t know the real truth. I think if we all learned about all religions, with an accepting heart, then we wouldn’t have so many arguments about religion. Or maybe we would have more. Who knows?
Anywho, I think teenagers abandon their faith most of all because they don’t really understand what Christianity is. As I said before, there are many people who teach false doctrines, and they contradict with what the Bible says.
# Amanda, 1 year, 10 months ago.
I don’t have a religion, nor do I really care for one. Why have faith in something you can’t see when you can have faith in your own personal judgement? I’ve never been let down yet. Religion, or even a set of theological beliefs in any shape and form, are not essential to live a rich and happy life.
With that said, I think everyone should just get over the whole religion/no religion debate. Seriously, just get on with your own lives, and suck it up like a man if someone bags your beliefs. We’re all made of different stuff, and the diversity should be respected.
# Rafia, 1 year, 10 months ago.
I understand what you are are going through. Adolescence is a difficult period because for the first time, you are experiencing new emotions, feelings, and being with different people. It’s the time where you figure out who you are and how you fit in with the rest of the world.
I think for a lot of kids, the biggest issue is dealing with authority figures and tradition. It’s cliched, but we all go through our rebellious stage (some just to act out to look different, and others for genuine reasons, because they really want to find who they are so they experience with different lifestyles and behaviors).
I believe, it’s not religion itself people have a problem with it. It’s the interpretation of it. Just yesterday in my religion class, we were talking about how we are reared to fear God, because we emphasize His wrath, but we never emphasize that He is also Merciful and Generous. Honestly, I believe God exists, because I feel it in my heart. I don’t live my life ruled by scientific inquiry. I question a lot of things, but not everything. I’ve accepted that some things in life have no explanations and I am fine with that.
In the end, what’s important is that you should do what you believe is right for you. If you’re content with what you believe now, then you need not worry about a thing. But if you’re not, read up on different faiths.
I hope I didn’t come off as preachy, that really wasn’t my intent. Just my opinion.
# Nellie, 1 year, 10 months ago.
Most of what I would have said has already been said for me. As a child you’re not really capable of choosing what you believe in, but as you get older you develop more of an understanding of things and making a choice is something you can do well.
I stopped believing in God when 3 of my grandparents died within 2 years, I was diagnosed with depression and my parents found it difficult to live of the money they were earning. It was a matter of believing that God was meant to make sure everything was going to be okay… and He didn’t. So I decided not to believe in him anymore.
# Susie, 1 year, 10 months ago.
I believe in God. I’m not really all that religious, but I have faith that there’s a God watching over all and that’s all that matters to me.
I don’t really believe that when you do something wrong you go to hell and punishment is waiting for you. I don’t need to. To me that’s just a lame excuse to have people follow the right path. I know what’s right and wrong and I do my best to always do what’s right. And God helps those who help themselves.
# Kat, 1 year, 10 months ago.
I think it’s common for teenagers to stop believing in God or whatever religions they were taught from birth. Nothing really unique about it. I also think that just because something bad happens in your life doesn’t mean you have to hate God or stop believing in him. It’s like saying, “I found a fly in my burger, I HATE MCDONALDS! AAARGGH!” Forgive the pathetic analogy, it’s late and I can’t think of anything better :P
When I moved to the Philippines, I hated life. I hated that I had to leave all my family and friends behind. I hated that I couldn’t speak the language and couldn’t talk to anyone. But 5 and half years later I think it’s the best thing that could have ever happened to me. All my friends in London are either knocked up, out of school, unemployed or all of those things. If I had stayed I may have gone down the same road, I may have not. Who knows? All I know is that I’m a better person now, I have a better life and I love it.
Before anyone denounces a religion I think they should know what it is they are denouncing. Like Lucy said, it’s because they don’t understand. Fearing hell or God is medieval, no offence ;) Catholicism has changed a lot since then. Find out more about it, you may come to love it more like I have :) And on that note, I agree a lot with what Rafia said, I feel God in my life, in my heart and in the people around me.
And anyway, what really matters is how any belief affects you. Are you better person because of it? Do you treat other people better?
Oh and to Jordie, don’t take the Bible too literally. It is after all an old text written by men in a time far different from ours. What’s more important is the lessons we can learn from it. Take the whole feeding of 5,000. The point there is not that Jesus fed 5,000 people from “a single basket of bread and fish”. That is a story about sharing. How one boy offered all he had, so everyone else did. And through that everyone was able to eat. Isn’t that something we can all learn from? Shouldn’t be so quick to judge.
Hm, that was long. Sorry, I may have violated even my own comment policy! But it’s all on topic right? XD
# Aravis, 1 year, 10 months ago.
I think loss of faith stems from confusion and misunderstanding. As you grow up, you go through so many experiences, and it can contradict everything you believe in. It’s so confusing and stressful that eventually, you end up pushing it to the back of your mind and don’t want anything to do with it. :/
# Amber, 1 year, 10 months ago.
I think I might be the only person to read this who doesn’t write an essay. But it’s okay because we share a love of Harry, and that will take us through everything.
Personally, I was always one of those, “what, why, when, how?” type of kids that annoyed teachers and parents included. If I wasn’t given the evidence, proof, or shown the answer I refused to believe it and ask even more questions. So for me, who loves Science (well finds it fascinating) it is hard for me to believe in something where there is no proof for its existence - just faith. I think society is heavy on Science now and things related to that so it is hard to keep the faith.
# Kat, 1 year, 10 months ago.
Lol! I just typed, it was only after I hit Comment! when I realized how long it was XD
# Nikki, 1 year, 10 months ago.
I didn’t experience this because I was raised to be “religion-less” ever since I was little. My parents basically just let me choose what I wanted to believe. I got a taste of organized religion when I attended Catholic school, but I found that it didn’t work for me. I do believe in a higher power, in karmic justice, and all that jazz, though :P But mostly I just believe that as long as you’re not harming anyone, you’re doing okay ;)