I thought it would be awkward
I saw you there and it was strange after three years. I was twelve when I last saw you. Now we’re both fifteen. Does that make a difference?
When I found out that I would be seeing you again, I don’t know. I felt like backing out of the commitment, like I normally do whenever I’m trying to avoid people I thought I’d left behind when I went to high school. But I didn’t. I went.
I was sitting there, reading my copy of Frankie, waiting for the meeting to start and then, you stood in front of me. You don’t look any different, you know? Your features haven’t changed dramatically, you just look a bit older than you were when we left each other.
“It’s in that room,” you said, really quite naturally considering the circumstances.
“Oh, hi,” I replied, hoping I sounded as natural as you. I probably didn’t.
I really thought those first few words would be some of the most uncomfortable, awkward moments I’ve experienced in a while.
They weren’t.
“I don’t really want to be here,” you confided in me.
“Me neither, but we’re here, so lets just… Go in?”
It was like you had forgotten me. I liked that. I’m glad you’ve forgotten. I haven’t.
It was lovely to have you smiling at me. I thought you would ignore me. You didn’t, thank you. It was funny when they kept picking on you, because they already knew you. I wonder if you saw my sympathy in my smiles.
I don’t know if we were ever friends before, I don’t think that we were. Nevertheless, I’m going to see you again soon, I know that much. I’m really looking forward to actually becoming your friend this time. Different circumstances. Different places. Different reasons.
Better reasons.
# Boris, 2 years, 2 months ago.
The *****. For some reason that just sounds really cheesy. Hah, ********** thankyou.
Edited to remove references to work.
# Laura, 2 years, 2 months ago.
That was a very well written piece. I’m not sure what it’s about but it intrigued me!
# Amber, 2 years, 2 months ago.
Yeah I didn’t know what it is about either Laur but I am intrigued nevertheless. Would you mind explaining for me Tracey? :)
# Chans, 2 years, 2 months ago.
I’m sure I’d feel the same way around certain people from my past if I were to meet them face to face again, even though I don’t have anything to feel ashamed about, but they do. Not that I would want to be friends with them though, I’ve offered them my friendship once, they blew it and that’s it.
# Tracey, 2 years, 2 months ago.
Laura + Amber: It was just an open letter of sorts to someone I used to know and left behind. I wanted to be his friend for some stupid reasons.
Chans: I’m sorry they blew it! You would have to be totally stupid to reject friendship from you!
# Chans, 2 years, 2 months ago.
Tracey: I would have to agree with you, you have to be totally stupid to reject my friendship, everyone knows I’m the coolest person around ;).
But seriously, I’m very forgiving and accepting but once you cross that line there is no going back. Besides, you don’t want to be surrounded by people who betray you or don’t want your friendship, because it’s just not worth putting in all the energy. It’s better to use that energy for those who are really worth it :).
# Gumby, 2 years, 2 months ago.
I am truly intrigued. Or maybe just nosy. Lets call it “caring.” You must tell me more Tracey, or I will die from curiosity, and you don’t want that on your conscience do you?
Aaw…
# Chrasy » Blog Archive » I thought it would be better, 1 year, 9 months ago.
[...] that day I met you all over again (sort of)? I was looking forward to becoming great friends with you. More than two painfully shy [...]